One week on

Hardly seems like a week since all those goodbyes at Malvern.

The week has been a bit odd without the urgency and purpose of needing to get to Malvern to do things or catch up with how things are going.

What's been great is to see that the spirt of the week has gone being shared on Facebook (note to self to find people's Twitter names) and it just confirms how great a week it was.

This will be the last post on this blog - it's been a bit too personal and is probably useless for seminar evaluation!

I've been thinking about the seminar since it finished and this what I have come up with:

Bad things
Not being able to get internet access sorted out for everyone - I know this was a bit of frustration and will cut down on the amount people could blog

Not being around all the time, particularly the Sunday afternoon and evening - I think I would have got to know some people better.

Never having travelled when I was a member - I missed out

Good things
To be part of it all - I was just going to do a few spreadsheets and check how the money was spent and maybe call over for a day or an evening to see what the results were.

Thanks
All of the participants - I'm not sure I've ever seen a group bond so quickly or so tightly. When I ran my sessions, the enthusiasm and how they responded was incredible

The prep team - they all did so much work and planning for the week and it all paid off and so much work during the week with commitment that I couldn't match.

Claire - the seminar was her vision, and it was her drive to deliver it and deliver it well kept everyone going.

I'm wearing my seminar hoodie today, because its cold and rainy (typical Malvern weather) but at least I have that to remind me of what a week it was.

Saturday afternoon and Sunday - emotionally and physically drained

On Saturday afternoon, I had to go and see a friend to help with his tax return - and that was when the tiredness kicked in. I probably did drift off for a fraction of a second but the rumble strip on the motorway brought me back pretty quickly and I stopped for coffee pretty quickly afterwards.

I drove quite slowly on the way home and stopped a couple of times along the way and the fact that it really was all over started to dawn, but I was too tired to try and do anything else but sleep.

On Sunday, I was scoring the live and carcase competition so it was a busy day so I didn't think of things too much, but when I got home, ate, stuck a picture of the pig onto facebook, I had a drink and read through my fuzzy notes and that was happy and sad all at the same time.

I asked someone of the prep team how they felt and they didn't know - I couldn't say either, but empty was about as close as I could get

Saturday morning - it's hard to say goodbye

I chose, wrongly, to go home Friday night and do the 6am and onwards runs to the station to give Gaz and Russ a chance to sleep after the 3.30am airport run.

I expected all the goodbyes to be difficult, but I wasn't ready for exactly how difficult. I'm not someone who is known for showing a lot of emotion anywhere - I've been called both cold and distant probably with good reason, but just because I don't show them doesn't mean I don't feel them and I didn't try to hide how sad I was at all the goodbyes.

It was great that people were already talking about the next RYE event or going to the 2014 seminar in Denmark but that didn't apply to me so it would be the last time I would see them

For the me the hardest ones were the prep team, both England and International - knowing how much work that they had put in and knowing how well it had gone.

In between runs to the railway station, I mostly tidied up and vacuumed - I was glad of something to do because waiting for the next set of goodbyes with nothing to do would have been too hard to take.

By lunchtime all but those who were driving had gone, the people from Malvern Outdoor were happy and it was time to go. I think we all lingered a little bit because it was quite literally the end once we got in the cars and went but after a few more hugs and handshakes we went... and it was over

Friday evening - near the end, and everyone knows it

I was later back to Malvern than I was planning and when I got back the wedding reception was in full swing and I didn't want to interrupt the party so I went into the internet cafe and started writing my fuzzy notes.

That was a much much longer job than I thought - just the prep team took nearly three quarters of an hour, not because of struggling to find nice things to say but because of finding the right words for what I wanted to say.

 As I carried on with mine, the room slowly filled up with people with just the same idea. There was one big difference - whenever I had been there during the week people were chatting, listening to music and so there was a bit of a buzz in the room. Now it was quiet and almost serious and people were concentrating on their writing for exactly the same reasons as I had been concentrating on mine.

I wrote too many times that I wished I had got to know some participants better and I expect that this will be biggest regret from the week.

In the games room it was then time for the certificate and gift presentations - probably one of the most emotional experiences that I have been a part of in my time in YFC. The combination of sharing the experiences of the week, realising that it was something special and knowing that it was almost over was almost overwhelming.

The prep team did a fantastic job of highlighting the strenghts and contributions of the members of their groups and you could see their connection as people went around hugging members of the prep team and I was touched to be included in those hugs even though I didnt really deserve them - especially when someone ran across the room because they had missed me out!

After a little while I crept quietly away - I said some goodbyes to people who were flying out and I did miss a couple though

Friday morning - at the sharp end

Ueli's plan for the business plan task today worked really well - I spent the morning moving from group to group listening to ideas and asking questions that I thought would help. The range of ideas is amazing and a lot of thought was going to in to the ideas and to what was going on to the flipcharts for the presentations.

I'm missing all the presentations because I'm back in work this afternoon - I'm sure they will all be great and I hoped I helped a bit.

I'm going back for a little while this evening which is when the goodbyes will start - that will be sad.

Thursday - a quick visit is both good and bad

I popped over to the seminar after work on Thursday evening - the Worcestershire entertainments were great (much better than what I had come up with) and Matt was brilliant at leading it. The box game was still going strong when I left - I could the shouting from inside the car as I left the main building!

I should have booked the week off work - I've got to know everyone a bit but I think its different coming in and going away from the group than being in the middle of it every day - that sounds like a complaint but its only against myself. This week is all about participants and I think they are having a great week which is what we all wanted and hoped for

Anybody miss me?

Work (yesterday in Chester and today and tomorrow afternoon here in Hereford) means that I will be missing out on most of the rest of the seminar.

I am coping by reading the blogs at lunchtime to find out what I am missing.